Epilogue Part One
“…God, my love, is life, it is your smile, it is everything around us." Daskalos to his grandson.
I hadn’t wanted to leave Portia that soon. You can be sure it was the influence of those in this committee as you might call it, who made me realize that leaving would be the right thing. Some of them were better at viewing future probabilities than I had ever been. It wasn’t my forte.
If I had followed my own impulses and stayed with Portia, it’s unlikely anything good would have happened. They’d told me she would have just stayed there with me until she grew older and would become bogged down with a man, a young lothario from her high school. Yet it was clear if I told her beforehand that I had to leave, she would have begged me so sorrowfully to stay that I’d have done it. So I just disappeared, or so it seemed to her. In reality of course, I was with her much of the time after that. But I couldn’t interfere for the most part--- that was against the rules.
Believe me I know a lot, but compared to what I don’t know, it’s just a piece of sand on an endless beach. Yes, I never set myself up to be any advanced being, though I did pick up a lot, it seemed, almost effortlessly. Although I’d had hundreds of lifetimes, incarnations one might say, it wasn’t until what would seem the most recent ones that I gained any real knowledge and this was just a glimmering.
If you could see me on the etheric level, you’ll see all the trappings of my most memorable lifetime: the long black skirt, the leather shirt, the sturdy black boots, the doctor’s bag---I still carry them with me, a token of the profession that meant and still means so much to me: healing. Indeed in that appearance around the turn of the century, I graduated from medical school, the University of Pennsylvania, not some horse college where many of your doctors went back then. Yes, you can tell that even I still have some attachments, an ego to deal with. But I was a healer, took my oath very seriously. I’d carry my little self, small even then much like my most recent lifetime, back into the Pennsylvania countryside to the distant farmhouses and even into the forest. I knew the area well and people depended on me. Of course I didn’t have this physical appearance then, the wild hair, this raving platinum mane came to me at my next sojourn, a gift from the DNA of some distant anglo-saxon progenitor.
I wasn’t alone as a doctor. I had, as my transportation, a sturdy chestnut mare named Argo with intelligence far beyond what her equine form would suggest, and a dog, a feisty part-wolf, who accompanied me everywhere, and never feinted or drew back in difficult circumstances---of which there were many. But I won’t go into that now. It was from the living of this life that I entered the next, to become an Indian healer with my roots in Brazil.
My sometime stay in the Costa Rican rainforest was an artifice purely for the benefit of Portia. For it was clear that she had a destiny about her---that is, a potential, which given the wrong conditions might not have been expressed. She had worked doggedly, unbeknownst to her, in previous lifetimes for others’ welfare in very rough and thankless jobs. She had developed a steely attention and tenacity as well as a pure idealism which, should you be able to see the pattern of energy around her, you would detect immediately.
And events conspired to help her achieve this capacity, although much of it was difficult for her. Her mother was sent then to have only a brief sojourn on the earth and though it pained Portia deeply, her departure was necessary for Portia to pursue her obligations. For that is at least partly what they were. Although she had many positive attributes, she also had a history during some of her previous stays on this planet of engaging in very reprehensible activities that created heavy debts. And thus it was Portia’s purpose to devote herself to the creation of peace which incidentally she has been very willing to do since her birth, when she recalled nothing of her obligations. I tried to make things as easy as I could for her, for she and I have had a long history through the ages and share strong affection.
 Markides, Homage to the Sun, page 121.